Thanks to the work of research and behavioral health professor Brene Brown, I am coming to have a fuller understanding and acceptance of what it means to be VULNERABLE!
The other day, while sitting in our leather recliners at home, in Orlando, Fl - my boyfriend looked over at me and said, "Babe - I can really see your beauty in a way that wasn't so pronounced when we first shaved your head." "You look REALLY pretty with your head shaved." I am paraphrasing him of course. Quite naturally, I initially took offense to that statement. My first inclination was to say, "What do you mean, are you saying I was ugly when we first shaved my head?" Sometimes, as a woman we hear our own insecurities ,outloud, that are playing in the background in our own mind vs what is actually being said. Isn't that something? That is not what he said at all. What he said is actually what he sees me now exuding; which is:
. Acceptance of my TRUE self!
. My beauty that shines from the Inside/Out!
Brene Brown states that what makes US "Vulnerable" is what makes US beautiful. She further states that while being "Vulnerable" is uncomfortable, it is also EMPOWERING! The willingness to do something with NO guarantees is "Vulnerability"
I've witnessed my own "Vulnerablity" increase with my willingness to invest in a relationship that allowed me to uproot my entire life that I created in Los Angeles to move to a new city to be with a man that I love, not knowing if it will work or not. There is no crystal ball of life that gives us any guarantees. It's a leap of FAITH; which Brene states Faith minus Vulnerability equals EXTREMISM! Who wants that! She says, "Faith is the vulnerability that flows between the shores of certainty." "Vulnerability is letting yourself love someone and to care about something passionately.
That brings me to Run...PRAY...Heal. Because I am passionate about this "Faith-based and heart centered movement" I am allowing myself to be vulnerable as I share my uncomfortability in running; especially running on the street and running in public. I am allowing myself to be open to judgement, criticism; along with accolades and praise, by offering to run for the health and happiness of total strangers.
A big reason for shaving my head bald, at this time, in my life; is due to my Alopecia Areata condition. I knew I would not be able to run, focus and pray for the health, happiness, the goals, desires, wishes and dreams of other people, while hiding my true self from those very people that I am desiring to be of service to. Running and wearing a wig bobby pinned to the little bit of hair that I had left on my head would not be an option . I envisioned myself running in the humidity of Florida and three or four blocks in, ripping my wig from my head. That seemed both painful and embarrassing. It was time to Let Go and let God!
Therein lies the real meaning of vulnerability for me. At the core of "Vulnerability" is:
At the other end of "Vulnerability" is:
I'll continue to show my "Vulnerability" if it means I get to experience more of the Joy, Creativity, the feeling of belonging AND Love.
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